Digital Camera - Yea!

Captivating or Captive

As I travel I have the wonderful experience of being able to see cities not only for the physical beauty they hold, but God allows me to see into the spiritual and see things that only He could reveal to us. If you were to enter the city of San Francisco, where I currently am writing from, you would see a landscape that would take your breath away. To one side of the bridge you have an open bay of nothing but blue waters, and the other side a sight of historical stories that lead you to see the inner soul of men that have lived being captive. And it hit me, how many of the tourists of this city have come to marvel at the site of an establishment in which capitalizes on sin and bondage, instead of freedom and hope? I know and believe there are rescue stories from men who were held captive within the walls, but not so much the walls but the island on which is sits upon and crashing waves that surround the base. Man after man tried to escape from the walls of their imprisonment, but failed to realize once outside those walls there was a barrier of water holding them there. They would either drown trying to leave, or give up and settle for their bondage in life.



This wonder of mine begin to stir in me, how many of us actually do that with every day ordinary things in our lives? What bondage do we idolize and emphasize on to the point of making it our only focus on life, taking away from the One who actually took us from being captive, to being captivating. The ties of being caught in bondage are strong. Even though you may think you are completely free from your imprisonment, you come up against a barrier speaking to you that you are still captive.


It reminds me of a time in my life in which I took and put so much weight into the things of my past, it was literally destroying me – physically and spiritually. It came to a point one day in which I was faced with a reality that I needed to make sure I wasn’t still believing in the role, isolating myself to an island or standing under the label of unworthiness and failure for the rest of my life, but believing in the truths of my Father. My childhood life had tough moments, but moments in which shaped me to be the Woman of God I am today. If there weren’t battles or fights in my life, I wouldn’t have the respect or honor for the One who actually set me free. I was captive by the battle scars instead of being captivated by the One that healed them. I was focusing on one area of life, instead of exploring the beauty of all of it. That was my barrier – not seeing past what was in front of me. I saw life as just “life”. I didn’t take the time to look beyond the past things in my life that held me captive or bound in a mess of false truths spoken to me repeatedly through life.


And the moment that changed all that was sitting in an office with my favorite mentor (and spiritual dad) in the entire world and Pastor Pat’s words to me were, “Jamie, You’ve been set free from your prison. Now, all you have to do is step outside of the walls.” Easier said than done, I know. But this time, I wanted to be so free of all the barriers in my life, to fly without broken wings, so I fought for it. It was my rescue story. God had already placed inside of me the beauty of my story; the stokes to the painting on the canvas of my life; but He had also placed in me the strength in which I needed to go from being a victim to a survivor, to being free, to becoming captivated by a love that will never fail me. I finally saw past what was in front of me, and I busted through those barriers, swam like I had only a few breaths left in me, and I realized I had more endurance than I ever thought I would have. And my prayer now is that my life be so captivating to individuals around me that they will not only see it, but ask me why I have such liberation.


What is causing you from stepping off your island of imprisonment? Are you being captivating, or are you being held captive? If its people, don’t let them hold you back from all the adventures in life you could be missing out on. Break through those barriers and grab hold of the beauty and serenity of the life you’ve been blessed with. It will only shape you into a strong child of God to be used in the Kingdom for His glory. You are created with endurance to win the battle. I bet if half the men that tried to escape their imprisonment would have looked across the bay, at the beauty that laid on the other side instead of the barriers of waves, they would have found freedom.

I love finding Old Poems....

I’m a pawn, lifeless in the hands of the Master.
I’m emotionless to any touch of my surroundings.
Through time my heart has harden in a world of pain,
Loosing compassion; self preservation I’ve tried to gain.

A spirit bruised and walking in hurt.
My mind has become shattered, full of confusion.
My desperate soul; not wanting to be alone.
I feel like a withering rose, hidden under a heavy vase.
Seeing in the mirror a reflection of hidden beauty;
Blinded to my own eyes;
There’s a voiceless song; unspoken because of a deadly fear.

Father, bring your glory back into this very life.
Break off the chains that bind me.
Bring back the hidden things, let them surface in me.
Take this lifeless Child of God and make me whole.
Let me see the vivdness of color in my dreams once again.
In the depths of my soul, let me find the treasure you’ve
Hidden deep within me.
Bring the mindful struggles to an end and let peace reign in
My heart, spirit and soul once more.

Let a voice arise that the children of God might here of
Your glory and see the hand of a King, who rescues me.
Bring your life back to this child. Let me feel your touch,
Soften my heart and let me see you.

The Embracement of Chains

Driving down the road on my way home from Atlanta this weekend, I was thinking of all the places God had brought me from and the current place and season I feel like I’m in. And chains, yes chains, came to mind. Those heavy, rusty, iron shackles that weigh us down; that imprison us, and for most of the time, the things we place ourselves in through seasons of pain in our lives. The majority of the time as individuals we don’t even realize we’ve built chains and shackles around our hands; around our hearts, around our feet and sometimes, even around our minds.


Dictionary.com defines the word “Chains” as a series of objects connected one after the other; used for various purposes requiring a flexible tie with high tensile strength for things such as hauling, supporting or confining, or for decorative form. It also says it’s something that binds or restrains.


A series of objects linked together… our lives are really a series of seasons; a series of memories; a series of events linked together creating a chain, whether we link it together through the pains and sorrows, or the lessons we learn from those seasons is our individual choice and decision. Sometimes our memories hold us in bondage by putting shackles on us – to weigh us down, but only we choose to step into them. We tend to hide them. Making them look decorative as they were a part of our testimonies and cause us no pain – lies! We discover people will see the weight we care carrying and we will feel ashamed.


There’s this song that Mary Mary sings called, “Shackles” and I remember this song well because it was Pastor Jayme Montera’s favorite. And while I never really understood why it was his favorite song until I realized the chains and shackles that he had been imprisoned by in his life and the freedom he had been given, and I only discovered this knowledge when in my own life chains and shackles started to shatter. I started using the truth of God to set me free and not the deceptive lies of the past to hold me bound. There were days in which I embraced my links with an unhealthy love, instead of holding them with a shout of freedom and praise. I decorated my shackles thinking I may just get away without dealing with what had me bound. I was entirely wrong. If I didn’t have them, then who was I? They were a security system of me. They defined who I was for the longest time ever. I was defined by the pain and sorrows, and the hurts and failures in which links were left in my life.


And that song, if you will embrace its hidden truth will definitely teach you how to become free of the past that is weighing you down. So you can dance… so you can run… so you can raise your hands… to embrace a father who has always been there for you. The Bible states in Jeremiah that “He will never leave me nor forsake me.” No matter the weight of the chain… no matter the size of the shackle… no matter the amount of the links that build your imprisonment, all it takes is just one word from a King – God’s truth can and will destroy them – through His love for His children.


And driving down the road, it hit me. The moment I lost my desire to be embraced by chains, the false security they gave me and who they defined me to be… I was able to see who God had already created me to be and embrace the uniqueness I was designed with. He called me to be His daughter of freedom; He called me to be His vessel of purpose; He called me to be His warrior of love to free others from the pit of despair; “To lift them up from the miry pit.” And as I walk through this season of reflection, I praise God for the people who were able to teach me how to be free without limitations and chains. Because of the influences in my life, I am able to be a stronger, more passionate, faithful, and loving Child of God with a huge destiny set before her. One that I can embrace without pain or hurt, but ultimately because of my Savior who sent someone who had been in my place, and used them to rescue me.


And to the Point:


Don’t start embracing links of pain and hurt or of destruction that will bring you to walk in chains of heaviness in your life. We are called to “throw off the spirit of heaviness and pick up the garments of praise.” Bring God’s truth into your heart to know who you are so that you can embrace His grace and walk (or dance) without shackles on your feet, for the Proverbs instructs us to “Write them on the tablets of our heart.” Embrace God’s love for you and throw off the desire for the security and embracement of you chains. He hasn’t left you.