Digital Camera - Yea!

Captivating or Captive

As I travel I have the wonderful experience of being able to see cities not only for the physical beauty they hold, but God allows me to see into the spiritual and see things that only He could reveal to us. If you were to enter the city of San Francisco, where I currently am writing from, you would see a landscape that would take your breath away. To one side of the bridge you have an open bay of nothing but blue waters, and the other side a sight of historical stories that lead you to see the inner soul of men that have lived being captive. And it hit me, how many of the tourists of this city have come to marvel at the site of an establishment in which capitalizes on sin and bondage, instead of freedom and hope? I know and believe there are rescue stories from men who were held captive within the walls, but not so much the walls but the island on which is sits upon and crashing waves that surround the base. Man after man tried to escape from the walls of their imprisonment, but failed to realize once outside those walls there was a barrier of water holding them there. They would either drown trying to leave, or give up and settle for their bondage in life.



This wonder of mine begin to stir in me, how many of us actually do that with every day ordinary things in our lives? What bondage do we idolize and emphasize on to the point of making it our only focus on life, taking away from the One who actually took us from being captive, to being captivating. The ties of being caught in bondage are strong. Even though you may think you are completely free from your imprisonment, you come up against a barrier speaking to you that you are still captive.


It reminds me of a time in my life in which I took and put so much weight into the things of my past, it was literally destroying me – physically and spiritually. It came to a point one day in which I was faced with a reality that I needed to make sure I wasn’t still believing in the role, isolating myself to an island or standing under the label of unworthiness and failure for the rest of my life, but believing in the truths of my Father. My childhood life had tough moments, but moments in which shaped me to be the Woman of God I am today. If there weren’t battles or fights in my life, I wouldn’t have the respect or honor for the One who actually set me free. I was captive by the battle scars instead of being captivated by the One that healed them. I was focusing on one area of life, instead of exploring the beauty of all of it. That was my barrier – not seeing past what was in front of me. I saw life as just “life”. I didn’t take the time to look beyond the past things in my life that held me captive or bound in a mess of false truths spoken to me repeatedly through life.


And the moment that changed all that was sitting in an office with my favorite mentor (and spiritual dad) in the entire world and Pastor Pat’s words to me were, “Jamie, You’ve been set free from your prison. Now, all you have to do is step outside of the walls.” Easier said than done, I know. But this time, I wanted to be so free of all the barriers in my life, to fly without broken wings, so I fought for it. It was my rescue story. God had already placed inside of me the beauty of my story; the stokes to the painting on the canvas of my life; but He had also placed in me the strength in which I needed to go from being a victim to a survivor, to being free, to becoming captivated by a love that will never fail me. I finally saw past what was in front of me, and I busted through those barriers, swam like I had only a few breaths left in me, and I realized I had more endurance than I ever thought I would have. And my prayer now is that my life be so captivating to individuals around me that they will not only see it, but ask me why I have such liberation.


What is causing you from stepping off your island of imprisonment? Are you being captivating, or are you being held captive? If its people, don’t let them hold you back from all the adventures in life you could be missing out on. Break through those barriers and grab hold of the beauty and serenity of the life you’ve been blessed with. It will only shape you into a strong child of God to be used in the Kingdom for His glory. You are created with endurance to win the battle. I bet if half the men that tried to escape their imprisonment would have looked across the bay, at the beauty that laid on the other side instead of the barriers of waves, they would have found freedom.

I love finding Old Poems....

I’m a pawn, lifeless in the hands of the Master.
I’m emotionless to any touch of my surroundings.
Through time my heart has harden in a world of pain,
Loosing compassion; self preservation I’ve tried to gain.

A spirit bruised and walking in hurt.
My mind has become shattered, full of confusion.
My desperate soul; not wanting to be alone.
I feel like a withering rose, hidden under a heavy vase.
Seeing in the mirror a reflection of hidden beauty;
Blinded to my own eyes;
There’s a voiceless song; unspoken because of a deadly fear.

Father, bring your glory back into this very life.
Break off the chains that bind me.
Bring back the hidden things, let them surface in me.
Take this lifeless Child of God and make me whole.
Let me see the vivdness of color in my dreams once again.
In the depths of my soul, let me find the treasure you’ve
Hidden deep within me.
Bring the mindful struggles to an end and let peace reign in
My heart, spirit and soul once more.

Let a voice arise that the children of God might here of
Your glory and see the hand of a King, who rescues me.
Bring your life back to this child. Let me feel your touch,
Soften my heart and let me see you.

The Embracement of Chains

Driving down the road on my way home from Atlanta this weekend, I was thinking of all the places God had brought me from and the current place and season I feel like I’m in. And chains, yes chains, came to mind. Those heavy, rusty, iron shackles that weigh us down; that imprison us, and for most of the time, the things we place ourselves in through seasons of pain in our lives. The majority of the time as individuals we don’t even realize we’ve built chains and shackles around our hands; around our hearts, around our feet and sometimes, even around our minds.


Dictionary.com defines the word “Chains” as a series of objects connected one after the other; used for various purposes requiring a flexible tie with high tensile strength for things such as hauling, supporting or confining, or for decorative form. It also says it’s something that binds or restrains.


A series of objects linked together… our lives are really a series of seasons; a series of memories; a series of events linked together creating a chain, whether we link it together through the pains and sorrows, or the lessons we learn from those seasons is our individual choice and decision. Sometimes our memories hold us in bondage by putting shackles on us – to weigh us down, but only we choose to step into them. We tend to hide them. Making them look decorative as they were a part of our testimonies and cause us no pain – lies! We discover people will see the weight we care carrying and we will feel ashamed.


There’s this song that Mary Mary sings called, “Shackles” and I remember this song well because it was Pastor Jayme Montera’s favorite. And while I never really understood why it was his favorite song until I realized the chains and shackles that he had been imprisoned by in his life and the freedom he had been given, and I only discovered this knowledge when in my own life chains and shackles started to shatter. I started using the truth of God to set me free and not the deceptive lies of the past to hold me bound. There were days in which I embraced my links with an unhealthy love, instead of holding them with a shout of freedom and praise. I decorated my shackles thinking I may just get away without dealing with what had me bound. I was entirely wrong. If I didn’t have them, then who was I? They were a security system of me. They defined who I was for the longest time ever. I was defined by the pain and sorrows, and the hurts and failures in which links were left in my life.


And that song, if you will embrace its hidden truth will definitely teach you how to become free of the past that is weighing you down. So you can dance… so you can run… so you can raise your hands… to embrace a father who has always been there for you. The Bible states in Jeremiah that “He will never leave me nor forsake me.” No matter the weight of the chain… no matter the size of the shackle… no matter the amount of the links that build your imprisonment, all it takes is just one word from a King – God’s truth can and will destroy them – through His love for His children.


And driving down the road, it hit me. The moment I lost my desire to be embraced by chains, the false security they gave me and who they defined me to be… I was able to see who God had already created me to be and embrace the uniqueness I was designed with. He called me to be His daughter of freedom; He called me to be His vessel of purpose; He called me to be His warrior of love to free others from the pit of despair; “To lift them up from the miry pit.” And as I walk through this season of reflection, I praise God for the people who were able to teach me how to be free without limitations and chains. Because of the influences in my life, I am able to be a stronger, more passionate, faithful, and loving Child of God with a huge destiny set before her. One that I can embrace without pain or hurt, but ultimately because of my Savior who sent someone who had been in my place, and used them to rescue me.


And to the Point:


Don’t start embracing links of pain and hurt or of destruction that will bring you to walk in chains of heaviness in your life. We are called to “throw off the spirit of heaviness and pick up the garments of praise.” Bring God’s truth into your heart to know who you are so that you can embrace His grace and walk (or dance) without shackles on your feet, for the Proverbs instructs us to “Write them on the tablets of our heart.” Embrace God’s love for you and throw off the desire for the security and embracement of you chains. He hasn’t left you.

Sweep Me Away

At the dusk of the evening, a melody is hummed,
With lyrics that will forever proclaim your name.
I stand in awe, embracing of every key played.
It melts me away into a dream without chaos.
As I’m swept off into a land of peace, I close my eyes
And there you stand with an out stretched hand,
Waiting on me to take that first step; to dance
Without shame or regret.

As you lead me away, you hold my hand,
With one spin of yours, there I am,
Standing with you, gazing into these eyes,
With the strokes of the strings, you seem
So real to me. To carry off every burden
And pain… what a sweet, sweet melody.

With every note played, and every melody and lyric sung,
I will never forget the day your song arose within my soul.
A song of freedom and grace, pour over me, My Savior,
With a melody so clear, that all may hear, that all may see
Your banner of love over me.

As I open my eyes, and yet to my surprise,
You are still here with me, and your melody
Burning deep inside, it will not be contain,
But sung for all to hear; Oh, sweet, sweet melody,
Arise inside of me that all my hear, that all may see

The King that swept me away into a forgiveness of his Name.
Oh sweet, sweet melody, lead me away into your presence,
Sweep me off into your arms of hope and trust.
I’m waiting, again, for this dance.

And He is the Meeter of My Needs...

And God has become the “Meeter” of Your Needs…

This phrase hit me like a slap in the face while reading a book by Beth Moore the other night and has been a thought in my mind ever since. Over the past few weeks, I’ve personally been walking through trials that definitely need God to show up in a huge manner. I was looking at the surface problems, the loss of material processions, and instead God opened my eyes to see that not only does He have every ounce our lives under control, but He is the Meeter of all of our needs. Any need in the physical, the emotional and the spiritual. He will provide and not leave us empty handed in any situation in life.

When we cry out for Him, He will walk up to us, identify the need in our life and says, “Hello Illness. My name is Healer” Or “Hello, Loneliness. My name is Friend.” We as humans get so wrapped up in life and under estimate the power in the name of our Savior. It’s not just a name, but a series of names amongst a name, which makes it much more powerful that it will break down any need whether it’s physical, emotional or spiritual. You must identify the wall that is keeping Him from being the Meeter of your needs, and cry out for Him. You don’t have to go anywhere. He meets you in the place He most knows that you’ll need Him.


He becomes the source of strength when you are weak; your Healer when you are ill. He becomes your Hope when despair washes over you. He becomes your Voice when words are few and hard to speak. He becomes everything you will ever need. Over time, I’ve had needs in my life, whether it was as small as a pair of shoes to the big things in life like a car or finances to cover bills. He has never failed me; in the perfect timing He has brought to me, or better yet, introduced to me by name… The Meeter of my needs.


As a human, I have had to learn to slow down, and grasp the smallest miracles. What’s your need today? Is it finances, a mending of a broken heart, hope to see your dreams come true? Is it love, security, healing or direction? Whatever it may be, He is more than enough. He is powerful and fully capable of providing to you the right answer to your need… in His timing, in His will, in His name. Stand upon His promises for your life today. There are 365 promises in the Word of God. One for each day, but that doesn’t mean that promise isn’t actively working on your behalf the rest of the year. They never expire. Remember the day in which you came to the realization that your name was “lost” and how he came to you and said, “No more do I call you lost, but now, I give you a new name… Child of God; and I, I’m the Meeter of your needs” – that day was the beginning of your journey with the Provider.

Matthew 6: 25-34

"If you decide for God, living a life of God-worship, it follows that you don't fuss about what's on the table at mealtimes or whether the clothes in your closet are in fashion. There is far more to your life than the food you put in your stomach, more to your outer appearance than the clothes you hang on your body. Look at the birds, free and unfettered, not tied down to a job description, careless in the care of God. And you count far more to him than birds. Has anyone by fussing in front of the mirror ever gotten taller by so much as an inch? All this time and money wasted on fashion—do you think it makes that much difference? Instead of looking at the fashions, walk out into the fields and look at the wildflowers. They never primp or shop, but have you ever seen color and design quite like it? The ten best-dressed men and women in the country look shabby alongside them. If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes.”

Holding onto what's not yours...

I think I just had the greatest conversation with a student; one that is caring and concerned not only about the people around her, but the representation that she and the others have in the world about Christ. She started the conversation out by asking how to explain to someone that was once hurt, that people aren't really like that. And it got me to thinking...


I know that in a world that strives on hurt and pain, and if you don't agree look at the world's television shows - they are full of it and only teach our younger generation to come that's all they have to live for, we tend to carry things that we shouldn't carry. It easy to pick up a hurt here and some bitterness there, or a bit of angry over yonder, but those are things I believe that we were never intended to carry; things such as hurts, pains, bitterness, lonliness, depression, anxiety, insecurities, ... oh, man, the list could keep going. But we aren't built to carry those things in life - and we do anyways. We've never been properly taught, or if we have - we've ignored the advice and wisdom around us, and still hold onto it.


Those things were never ours to carry. They were never ours to bare, or even share with others. In Matthew 11, Jesus states to those around him, "For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." The things of this world is a burden that is much heavier than the burden Jesus gives us. It doesn't wear you out or get you to hold onto the negative things in life that eventually tear you down. They are easy, they are enjoyable, they are comforting and they bring peace and hope to any situation. Jesus carryed that burden for us down an old dusty road, with a huge wooden, splintered cross on his back.

I used the example to this student, that if someone was carrying around hurt it was like carrying a dead body on their back for the rest of their lives, and eventually the dead decaying body will start to take over the living body - you - and spread the desease of death. I sure don't want that, and I don't think you do either. I believe that we each strive so hard in life to make sure we don't end up carrying a dead weight or burden, and we miss it. We end up carrying it. But there are some of us that start noticing others dead weight, before we will even noticed our own. That's called "Seeing the speck in your neighbor's eye, before you noticed the freaking log in your own" (Paraphased Jamie Style) - Get over yourself. No one is perfect! That's why He carryed that cross! That's why there's a huge thing called FORGIVENESS, given to us. That's why he told us not to take on other's burdens but to carry his yoke... because he knew, but our human nature we would find fault in others, before we came to reality with ourselves.

So my question is not really just for you, but for all of us: what are you holding onto that Jesus didn't intend for you to carry? What log is sticking out of your eye? and why haven't you noticed it before you noticed someone else's? What hurt or bitterness have you been keeping deep down in the depths of your soul and spirit, and not releasing forgiveness so the other person may suceed in their God chosen lives? (oh, man! That's a whole new blog!)

I challenge you today to find one situation in your life that needs attention. That situtation you just thought about that's like a dead weight on your back, you think about it all the time, and you've just now realized its holding you back, but also holding them back. Forgiveness is the key. That's what made it possible for us not to have to carry a burden our human bodies and minds weren't designed to carry. Its liberating. It's worth it. It's about seeing restoration and hope built up... renew your relationships - through off the dead weight.